There's always someone pooping outside the litterbox; a JOURNEY home; f*ck the haters; the sadness brigade
Shut the f*ck up, science.
Well, holy shit. I haven't written in quite a long time, probably because major shit has been hitting a major fan. I don't really even know where to start, what to divulge, who to grossly maim, and why I'm not crying right now.
I just got back from a weekend retreat to North Port with BEEFCAKESTATUS. Though I would never say I rejoice in North Port (much less Sarasota county), it was needed. Badly. I'll get to that in a little while.
Things have been rather topsy turvy in my life. To begin, I no longer work at Full Sail. I can't even bring myself to add "university" to the end of that title because it's hardly an educational hub. In fact, it's actually a black hole where talent disappears rather than appears; it's a stiffling environment where male nepotism chokes female sensibility. It's also the gigantic turd that landmined the music industry of Florida.
PLEASE EXPLAIN, EMILY. WE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR ALLEGIANCE HAS CHANGED SO SUDDENLY! HELP US!
because students hit on me and then got in trouble and co-workers made lewd comments about: female students they would sleep with if given the opportunity, me being in a bad mood because I was "probably PMSing", wanting to take shots and get drunk at work, their "bitchy ex-wives and slutty girlfriends"... the list goes on and on. It was a filthy place to work, both socially and physically. One of my "team" would open drawers and put his trash in them so he wouldn't have to walk 5 feet to the trash can. The same guy called me a "pretentious bitch" for saying I knew how to explain the circle of fifths better than him; mind you, he never studied music and doesn't have a fucking degree. And I have to say that I'm still baffled, disappointed, and appalled that a so-called educational facility would foster such downright bullshit attitudes. What kind of students are they turning out? I can safely say it's a waste of time and money if you want to learn how to be a good musician and generally decent human being.VAGINAS ARE THE DEVIL
To continue the poop chute, I was working for a lawyer for about two weeks when he randomly goes (on a Thursday), "I thought you were better looking," implying that maybe he wanted a legal assistant to help with more than just drafting notices and pleadings. Awesome, just what I needed- another faggot to deal with. GOOD. Suffice to say, Craigslist hasn't been good to me. Or anyone. Ever.
So, things have been a little rough as of late. And to top it all off, my mom and I brought Lily my fur child to the vet this past Saturday. She had been guilty of "delinquent litterbox use", or as common people say, pissing on the floor. My mom thought something was wrong so we took her. Sure enough, she had yet another UTI. The vet was feeling around and said that one of her kidneys had shrunk considerably, meaning she was able to be diagnosed with kidney disease. Cat owners know the gravitas of this diagnosis. This means the cat will either go naturally or have to be put down if the pain becomes too great. It's not pleasant for anyone involved. The cat normally pees all over the house in inappropriate places, stops eating, loses weight, etc. It's horrible. And it makes me wonder why God would create such suffering for innocent animals. It makes me wonder if there even is a God sometimes. I'm not going to go all preachy on anyone about what I do or don't believe, but it sucks. Massively.
Some of you were made aware that we lost our other cat Zelda recently- we're talking right when I got back from Portugal. She hadn't been eating, but it all came on so quick. She had been fine, and then was starting to mope and then went on a hunger strike. It still kills me that I wasn't there to say goodbye. People who have never had pets don't get it. They can't understand how animals become a part of your family and heart. As if it wasn't bad enough with the Zelda tragedy only a few weeks back, now we're in danger of losing Lily. I know it's inevitable, that people both human and fur, must come to an end. But for God's sake, can't there ever be a peaceful goodbye?
I'm sorry, kids. I'm in a funk, so to speak. This weekend WAS a boatload of fun, though. Jules and I got to see some of North Port's great monuments... which are few and far between. And by few, I mean none. We drove by Warm Mineral Springs (which is closed as of July 1st), went to a European deli (PEASANTS), stopped for ice cream at Sweet Scoops, got doughnuts and stared at while at Abbe's... there was a lot of eating involved. We also saw some good ol' Southern music at Owen's Fish Camp on Saturday night, and had the best Caesar salad by far. BCS (beefcakestatus will be abbreviated as such henceforth) and I even spent a romantic while on Nokomis beach looking at the stars and talking about our dreams. No joke, that's LIT-RALLY how cute we are. I know, I know. I also got some quality catch-up time with my momma, who is hysterical and wonderful. I had been waiting to tell her the happinesses and horrors of Portugal (I'm still waiting to tell y'all), so it was good to finally get it out of my system.
And despite the fact that he's allergic to cats, he even petted Lily! She came up on the bed Saturday morning and croaked in his face. She then proceeded to shave on his arm and cause some minor itching. WHAUPSUH. SHUH JUS LUVS YEW UND ERRYWUN DA SUM COZ SHUZ DA COOL WUN.
Taking pictures with Lily made me feel significantly better. And writing this blog has helped me too.
It's already late. I know I said I would write a bitchy blog about why I deserve to not work for free aka GET PAID WHEN I WORK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, but that'll have to be a second installment. It's time to nust and rest my mind.
Better luck (and spirits) next time.
Fine Young Poet : Em
an artist who chooses to starve